Are We Devaluing Kids’ Accomplishments?
A few weeks ago, one of the soccer moms mentioned that she was putting in an order for the soccer trophies and what the cost would be. After two seasons of baseball, this has become a typical thing. You play a sport and at the end, you get a participation trophy. For whatever reason, it’s starting to rub me the wrong way.
When I was growing up, you rarely got a trophy unless you’d won something. I remember the very first trophy I ever won was when I became the school spelling bee champion. I treasured that trophy because I’d worked hard for it. And until high school, it was the only one I’d ever won. It meant something.
For my son, a trophy means he played a sport. Period. There’s no sense of–most improved player, no MVP, no district champion. And within a few years, he’s going to have a shelf full of them. Trophies that were given, not because he achieved something great, but because he was a participant. But what do you do? Do you take a stand and say, “No, I’m not going to pay for a trophy,” and see that disappointed look on his face when he’s the only one who doesn’t receive one? He’s only six.
But I really worry about what’s happening to kids these days. It bothers me to see kids receiving awards and certificates for things they shouldn’t. Heck, he got a certificate last year for attendance at school. Attendance!! Unless I had a serious illness, I was required to attend school. Why should anyone get an award for something you’re supposed to do?
Sorry about the mini-rant, but am I the only one who’s starting to feel this way?
Michelle posted in Writing @ 3:57 pm | Viewed 1732 times
Missie Says:
You must have been reading my mind as of late. I am so ticked off by all this! The same happened when my son played flag football when he was ten. He got a trophy for participation that he doesn’t even care about. In fact, in this league they didn’t even keep a score at the games. My son finally asked me, “What’s the point of this? Why am I playing a game I can’t win?” :duh:
This year, our school district has instituted some new “standards” that make it almost impossible for a kid to fail. If a child doesn’t turn in an assignment on time, they can turn it in late for a starting grade of 80%, which will then be reduced if any problems are wrong, etc. What the heck? In our day, you turned in your work on time, or you got an F. That was it. Unless you were dead or got your hands chopped off, there were precious few excuses that a teacher would take for late assignments. I had to sit my son down and tell him, “Listen, bud. The way things work in this house is you turn things in ON TIME. If I catch you turning things in late and just hoping for an 80%, I will ground you, got it?” Sorry for the huge comment, but this so burns me. I think teachers should be able to grade as harshly or as easily as they want, and not be dictated to by a bunch of bureaucrats whose only concern is my child’s self-esteem, not whether or not he actually knows the capital of Argentina. (p.s. I have told my son that in the classroom, the teacher is the King or Queen. The teacher is the BE ALL END ALL. What the teacher says, goes. If the teacher only wants you to write in purple on Wednesdays, that’s the rule and you better do it.) :bow2u:
Are the people who made this policy going to be willing to stand around my emotionally stunted and socially inept child when he is an adult and stroke his head and tell him, “You don’t worry about what that ole mean boss said to you, little punkin! He just doesn’t know how great you really are! How dare him want things done a certain way and hurt your feelings like that!” :banghead:
Okay, getting off the soap box now. Sorry to take over your comment section with my War and Peace.
Michelle Says:
No worries, Missie! Having been on the teacher’s side, I can tell you that it burned me up as well, having to give credit for any old slop. Then I changed my homework policy and yes, indeedy, it was possible to get a 0% on an assignment you turned in…if you got every question wrong. My students were SHOCKED that I actually marked a problem wrong if it was–get this–wrong.
Finally, that’s what it took to get them to start reading the material and answering questions correctly.
It kills me that kids are getting a false sense of reality. In real life, things are expected of you. You don’t get a trophy for going to work on time…you get paid only when you do what’s expected. :whip:
Amy Says:
Don’t even get me started on this horrible sense of entitlement our nation’s children are being indoctrinated with. It is, IMO, the biggest reason our schools are failing…students don’t believe they have to WORK for good grades (because, Gawd, if you don’t use good grades to acknowledge that they showed up and made a few marks on their papers, they might get their feelings hurt!) or a good job. They’re being brought up to think life is FAIR instead of that hard work pays off. I could go on for pages and pages and pages and I don’t want to hijack your blog.
Fedora Says:
I think this is a hot button for many of us! I’m all for encouraging the kids to have fun and to enjoy the game, but I don’t think a trophy is necessary to the whole playing experience! The chess coach at school does give little medals to everyone for participating but keeps the trophies to the top few finishers in each age group, which seems like a slightly better way to go. Aack! The whole entitlement thing drives me bonkers! :angry:
Donna Alward Says:
Well, I think lots of people feel this way. Like everyone else I could go on a lot, but the bottom line is for me it burns my asters that you get rewarded for showing up, and not for hard work.
How are we every going to raise a generation of motivated kids? :hissyfit:
Lexi Connor Says:
I’m right there with you, Michelle!
Michelle Styles Says:
Yes, I agree.
You have the same problem over here in the UK.
Children also are bright. They rapidly work out the bogus nature of the system. I can remember my daughter being amused when she was given English student of the week for the ONE week she was totally absent from the class… She had already worked out from first school that these certificates really did not mean much.
Treasia/TruckersWife Says:
This is another one of those subjects that burns my behind. About the same as the kids going door to door selling crap for the school.
I’m all for being one of those parents that do not let the kids accept a trophy for just showing up and playing a game they obviously wanted to play to begin with. It’s not preparing them for the real world out there. I have told mine time and time again, you do not get a trophy for showing up at work, you do not get ribbons for attendance at work, because that’s part of the job. You show up at work and your reward is, you still get to keep your job. You don’t show up, your reward is, you have no job.
Teachers and parents likewise should teach children that for “a job well done” you are rewarded, not for just being there.
It was the same way back in my day. LOL. You played a sport and if (only if) you were good enough, excelled enough and worked hard enough did you receive a trophy, award or pin. Heck even a letterman’s jacket. Now in school anyone can purchase a school jacket. It used to be only for those who earned it.
Rene Says:
Definitely a hot topic for me.
My kids got/get trophies for the under 6 and under 8 soccer divions just for participation. And they like them. But once they hit the U10, you only get a trophy if you win. Same with baseball, little kids get participation trophy, older gets only get a trophy if they win. I like that idea.
My stepson went to an elementary school that was always having awards assemblies where pretty much every kid got an award. I despise that empty kind of self-esteem booster. The result was that my stepson had no real reason to exert himself and it bred a sense of entitlement. The kid never finished high school.
My kids’ school doesn’t do any of those “student of the month” things and there are no award assemblies. I like that. I do not give my kids money for their grades, I expect them to do their best because it is to their benefit. We will go out to dinner to celebrate their hard work, but that’s it.
I think there is a whole generation of kids who have a false sense of entitlement do to these ridiculous “feel good” awards.
Ellen Says:
:banghead: I taught school for 35 years before retiring and would have taught a few years longer except I could no longer tolerate the things you mentioned. I was even told not to mark a student’s paper with red ink because someone might notice how badly he had done and it would be embarrassing and lower his self esteem.