Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire
My four-year-old daughter has begun an awful habit. Lying. 
I know that many parenting books say that lying is typical in preschoolers, but let me tell you, that’s a habit I find critical to break. One parent I spoke with a few months back said, “All my kids lie. It’s what kids do.”
I don’t know about you, but all I could think was: Not in my household.
My parents always taught me from a very young age that I should always tell the truth, even if it meant getting into trouble. Because if they found out I was lying, it meant double trouble. 
They were very good about following through on that one, as my backside could attest.
As for my daughter, the lies have been pretty benign so far. Last night I asked her if she’d brushed her teeth, and she said yes. Then when she found out her dad was having watermelon, she said, “Can I have watermelon? I haven’t brushed my teeth yet.”
Needless to say, not only did she NOT get watermelon, but she was also sent straight to bed. Maybe that makes me a big old mean Mommy, but I believe in giving the smackdown on the little things, so we never have to deal with the bigger incidents. When she goes through her teenage years, I want her to always tell me the truth, and I really believe that I have to set the precedent now.
Later, I went in to have a chat with her, after she’d been in bed for about thirty minutes. We talked about what lying is and why you should never lie to your parents. I think she understood. We’ll see how things go from here on out.
It’s funny how, when you have kids, at first everything is physical–changing diapers, feeding them, teaching them how to crawl or walk. And as they get older, things shift into more emotional territory. Sometimes, I think the baby years are easier! 
What about you? What’s your opinion on kids who lie?
Michelle posted in Writing @ 6:50 am | Viewed 1030 times
beth Says:
All my kids lie, it’s what kids do. Um…I feel for that parent when the kids are older - that just smacks of big trouble on the way. Human nature being what it is, kids are going to try to do all manner of things that aren’t good for them - lie, swallow the pen that mommy left too close for little grasping paws (pardon me while I go remove said pen), etc. The role of the parent is to help kids grow up and learn the rules of living in polite society. Some of these rules are safety related (i.e. the pen) and others are for their own benefit on many more levels - like not being a big ol’ liar. Kudos to you, cause in the long run, your kids are going to be way better off for having had rules and discipline from the start.
Treasia Says:
My parents didn’t tolerate lying at all either. The same as yours “if you lie about something it’s worse than the original trouble”. But when very young they instilled the truth into us. I don’t remember lying about but maybe, maybe two things in my teenage years.
Amy Says:
You will have that conversation with your daughter (what will seem like) endlessly. It’s not that they forget, but they constantly test boundaries, waiting for you to slip up. Parental Consistency is soooo very important.
Constant Vigilance.
Begin as you intend to go on. Talking to her now will help keep the conversation open when she’s older because she knows that you mean what you say, but that you’re not unreasonable.
When she goes through her teenage years, I want her to always tell me the truth, and I really believe that I have to set the precedent now.
When she’s a teen, she won’t tell you everything, because she’s learning her independence and how to handle things on her own. It’s not LYING per se, but it’s about her becoming an adult, and learning to solve her own problems. And there are very few people that will come out and just admit they did something they know they’re going to get into trouble for (unless they think you’re going to find out anyway and are trying to mitigate the consequences).
BUT, it will be good if she knows she can talk to you and you won’t flip out being Judgmental Mom. You won’t always agree with your teen, but you will be amazed at how the lessons of her youth became a part of inner voice.
You really do become the voice in their heads…make sure you’re sending a consistent message.
Michelle Willingham Says:
Amy–some good advice. I think letting your kids know that you’ll always be there for them, even when they’re in trouble, is so important. And you are so right about consistency.
Good point also about her testing her boundaries! Hadn’t really thought of that, but you’re right.
Rene Says:
My two olders don’t lie. I don’t think my son ever has told a lie. My littlest one did. It was benign lies like your daughter. When she hit kindergarten, it stopped. I think it is important to reinforce the idea that lying is not okay. I do think it is part of a phase they go through. But I wouldn’t worry that it is going to be the standard for your daughter. That you talked to her about it is good.
Megan Enloe Says:
On the positive side I read somewhere (wish I could remember where) that early lying is a sign of intelligence.
That being said, squelch it quick! The lying, not the intellect. She was clearly lying to one of you and that’s not OK in my home either.
Keep it up, You are a good mean mom!
Bron Says:
Well if lying is intelligence I have a genius. I am constantly on top of it and the punishment is dealt out. The trouble is when I catch them out it means I have missed heaps.
But yes it is the one thing I WILL NOT tolerate.