Raising a Baby Goat
I’ve decided that newborn babies are a bit like goats. They make little bleating noises when they’re hungry or sleepy or poopy, and they’re stubborn, too. My darling boy knows he has his mother wrapped around his finger, and all he has to do is whimper and I’ll cuddle him up against my chest. There’s something about a warm, sleeping baby that can knock me out quicker than Ambien.
And tomorrow, I have to give him to someone else. All day, while I go back to work. 
With my first child, I was itching to go back to work. I felt like teaching defined me, and I was losing myself being trapped at home, subject to the whims of a baby.
With my second child, I planned it so my maternity leave ran into summer break, and I didn’t have to go back until September. When she started daycare, it didn’t bother me as much because I knew she was in good hands.
With this baby, I’m a sentimental wreck. He’s my last child, and I’m treasuring every single moment. He’s growing up so fast, right before my eyes. Even the thought of handing him over tomorrow makes me want to clutch him tighter. He’s mine, and nobody else will love him quite as much. Yesterday I went through his clothing, setting aside all the 0-3 month sizes because they don’t fit anymore. I’ll be donating them to charity or to a friend expecting a baby boy, and it was harder than I thought. Many of the outfits have special memories.
Oh, there will be new ones. But baby memories are so precious and so sweet. I have to remember that when it’s 2:30 a.m. and I’m bleary-eyed from less than three hours of sleep. I’ll blink, and he’ll be in kindergarten.
P.S.–thanks to the Mills and Boon editors for the shirt. It’s one of his favorites. 
Michelle posted in Writing @ 12:11 pm | Viewed 3223 times
Rene Says:
My last “baby” started Kindergarten this year and it was the first time I cried with one of my kids going to school. I definitely clung to part of the baby stuff with her and as a result, she still gets treated like a baby. I totally feel for you. (((Hugs))) for tomorrow.
Kim A. Says:
He *is* getting big! And cuter too, with every day that passes, I suspect.
I forget that you don’t get much for maternity leave. If you lived in Canada (and paid our tax rates) you’d get a full year of maternity leave, though you don’t get 100% of your income as far as I know. Unemployment insurance kicks in at some point, I think. Still, a whole year!
Good luck; sending Light for tomorrow.
-Kim
Missie Says:
That child is adorable. End of story.
Michelle Says:
Kim–yes, our maternity leave policies are terrible compared to Canada and Europe. Sigh.
kacey Says:
My baby is getting ready to go to college…
Nicole Reising Says:
At first when I started reading your post I was in my google and was just reading… then I got to the part about how you felt with each of your children. I had to come and comment. You’ve said it exactly… and this is the first, though I’m positive many, many other women have gone through the same pattern, but I’ve always felt a little guilty about practically pushing my first child out the door so I could ‘get my life back’. By my third I have clung… trying to slow time down, now realizing just how quickly time does fly. Before I know it all three will be out the door with their own families.
Thank you for a lovely post.
Cole
Michelle Says:
Nicole–I never knew how hard it would hit me until now. Today I’ve been hugging the baby repeatedly, telling him, “I’m going to miss you tomorrow.”
Tori Lennox Says:
I can’t believe how big he is already! Wow!
*hugs* on having to go back to work.
beth Says:
I was wondering if you’d have to go back this school year or if the maternity leave gods had smiled upon you and given you the spring term off. (Knew it was a long shot, but was hoping for you.) Big hugs.
However, it should be at least a small comfort that he’s getting cuter by the instant - and that’s no small feat given where on the cuteness scale he started!
Jill Myles Says:
PS - Saw your book at the grocery store today - down to one copy (out of at least six, I think!)
I’ve already bought mine - hah!
Taryn Raye Says:
Awww! He’s getting so big!
My daughter will start kindergarten this coming August. When my stepson started school I didn’t cry. He’d been going to preschool before that and I had my cry for a couple of weeks when he started pre-k, so by the time I put him on the bus for kindergarten, it was the norm.
My daughter though…I know she’s the only child I’ll ever have, the only one I’ll be able to claim as “mine all my mine” and the idea of her starting kindergarten this year brings tears to my eyes more times than I can count.
Hope your first day back to work, your first day apart from the little guy, wasn’t too hard! {{{hugs}}}
Mary Says:
HUGS, Michelle! You’ll blink and he’ll be TALLER than you! I still have some baby clothes, and my son is 16!