A less than stellar motherhood moment

We have a system in our household. My husband is always the one to drop the kids off at daycare and has been since they started. This is mainly because the children know that Dad is completely unaffected by tears, so why bother? They are accustomed to a hug and a wave goodbye, and they happily go off to play.

When Dad is on travel for work, however, the children have another scenario in mind. My son is fairly low-key, but my daughter, aka Drama Queen, knows exactly how to push my buttons. The first time I dropped her off, she gave me a pitiful look and said, “Mommy, I need you.” This was followed by the most heartfelt sobbing and thigh-gripping you can imagine. My mother guilt was going on overdrive, and I felt like a rotten person when I handed her off to the daycare teacher.

Most of my guilt was not from leaving for work, but because my little monster had decided to invoke her wrath upon the daycare teacher. The tantrums would last almost half an hour after I left. Unbelievable! And at last, the day before my husband came back, I solved the problem with a sticker. A stupid sticker was enough to ward off any tears and Little Miss Chipper would skip off to her teacher with a happy, “Bye, Mommy!”

I thought we were past this. This week, she started off great–no need for stickers, just a hug and a smile. Then she started deteriorating until on Thursday, she threw herself kicking and screaming on the floor. What a turkey.

Today, I went through every drawer, every supply I could think of, and I couldn’t find any stickers. Nothing. I think I would have gone with a Chiquita banana sticker, if needed, but there was nada. Then I spied a bite-sized Snickers candy. I didn’t say a word, but pocketed it, along with a hard candy for her brother (You cannot give candy to one child and not the other–otherwise another world war breaks out).

The fateful moment arrived. Drama Queen poised for her greatest performance, armed with tears and flailing arms.

Me: “I guess you won’t be getting any candy then, huh?”
[Her arms froze in motion as her gaze snapped over to mine. I could see the wheels turning as I handed her daycare teacher the Snickers candy.]

Daughter: “No, I DO want candy!”

Me: “Then you can’t cry. Otherwise Miss Lorna gets your candy.”

She looked appalled at this. Her little face screwed up as if she were about to cry, and I shrugged. “It’s up to you. I have to go to work now. If you want your candy, don’t cry.”

Her face grew worried, but she pulled herself together and gave me a hug. I half-way pushed her toward the daycare teacher, and she went off to get her candy.

And yes, I feel like a rotten mother, because I KNOW this is not solving the problem. But if bribery keeps a three-year-old from making a teacher’s life a living misery, then I’m all for it. And on Monday, my husband can go back to dropping them off.

Looking back on my own childhood, there are only a few things I remember being bribed with. One is one of those sugar cookies, coated in yellow frosting with a chocolate smiley face. Not an ounce of nutrition in it, but I still adore them. Were you ever bribed as a kid? Was there something you’d walk off a building for?