When the husband’s away…
…the children will drive their mother insane.
Personally, I think business travel is fun for the traveler, not the one left behind. If I could be in Manhattan right now, strolling around Times Square and dining out in new restaurants, I would be having the time of my life.
Instead, I’m trying to keep the children from killing each other.
It all started off with a Change in the Morning Routine. Because, I’m not normally the person who drops off the kids at daycare; it’s my husband. This is a good thing because they know Dad will not respond to tears, pleas, or threats. He just hugs them goodbye, and he’s off. So dropping off the kids isn’t a big deal. Usually, they wave, smile, and go back to playing with their friends.
Today, however, my daughter decided to be a Drama Queen. 
How DARE I leave her? How could I even THINK of going to work? As soon as I began to leave, she attached herself to my knees and started the Pitiful Sobbing ™. When that didn’t work, she threw herself on the ground and did the full body tantrum. My son stared at her as if she’d grown a second head. The parting memory was of my daughter’s face, pressed up against the Plexiglass door, sobbing her heart out. Meryl Streep would have been proud. There could have been a little more subtlety to the tears, but in general, it was Oscar-worthy.
Of course, when I picked her up, she chirped, “Hi, Mommy! I making the Play Dough!” (The verb ‘to be’ is still optional)
While going to the grocery store, it was a case of my son taunting her. “Santa Claus thinks I’m being a good boy. You aren’t a good girl. He’s not going to bring you anything.”
Daughter breaks into more crying: “I want Santa Claus to come!” 
Glass. Of. Wine. Need it now. 
Michelle posted in Writing @ 8:23 pm | Viewed 2098 times
beth Says:
Ugh! Hope hubs is home soon - and he’d better be bringing you back something sparkly to make up for the torture!
That said, it’s good to see that sibling relationships don’t seem to have changed much in the last few years. Your son’s remark is hauntingly familiar to one my sister made every single year.
Wanda Says:
Are you sure you don’t have my kids?
Robyn Says:
My daughter did the cry-and-fling-herself-to-the-floor thing, called a Camille (from the old movie) in our house, until she cracked her head on the wood floor. Then she started the fit, stopped to ease herself down until she was safely lying on the floor, then resumed the drama. We called it her Half-Camille.
Melissa Says:
Oh, Michelle, I feel for you. It’s amazing how different kids act depending upon which parent they’re with.
Melissa Mc Says:
Hugs. I know your pain. Whenever Hubby is off on some fun boondoggle, I feel like I’m battling banshees at home. It just isn’t fair. Hang in there and have not only wine, but chocolate.
Rene Says:
Kids love a change in routine because they think it gives them permission to be obnoxious. My son is really been horrible about taunting his sister lately. I want to strangle them all. Will join you in a glass or three of wine.
Nicole Reising Says:
Michelle! You have so nailed this with kids - why is it that Dad’s seem to so easily get the kids to obey, stop crying, do what needs to be done and not be all frazeled by the time its done? I joke about this with mine - who is gone most weeks at least a couple nights each time. I’ll say - time to go to bed… TIME to go to bed…. TIME TO GO TO BED! And they look at me like I’ve grown two heads - “Well, you don’t need to get mad about it, I’m going…” Me? I roll my eyes and repeat the procedure for every step of this bed time process… teeth, face wash…you name it. But my hubby? He says it once and whala! Up they go and of they go. Truly amazing! And… the other thing I find astonishing is the debating. I have all boys - so I have no idea if girls do the same but boys? Boys are born negotiators. At least mine are. I can go through that whole process of ‘go to bed routine’ only to then face the endless questions of… why now? why not ten minutes from now? how about I do the teeth and not the face? can I do it in the morning? how about I do the teeth and you let me stay up ten more minutes?
See? Crazy! And they don’t dare do this with the hubby!
Cole