Down, down, down in a burning ring of fire…

So last night, I got the not so bright idea to harvest my jalapeno peppers. There they were, hanging so prettily from the vine. I had been awaiting this moment for quite some time. You see, I’m a complete sucker for Arby’s jalapeno poppers. And I thought–Hey! I could grow these! Homemade poppers, any time I want them!

I found a recipe on the Internet, happily sliced, stuffed, breaded, and fried them. Note–new discovery–Arby’s poppers are for wusses. My jalapeno poppers were like biting into flames of Hellfire. Sweet Lord Almighty. I believe I blistered my lips and my eyes were watering. I was quite disappointed in my jalapeno prowess. Sadly, I was only able to eat two. It was then that I noticed a mild stinging sensation on my hands.

Oh yes, I had read about this. Supposedly you can burn your hands from jalapenos or other chiles. Which is why I washed my hands with soap before, during, and after slicing. Not a problem.

Hours later, I began to see that there was, in fact, a problem. I washed my hands multiple times, to no avail. When I took a bath that night, my hands felt like they were going up in flames. What the?? My darling husband kindly pointed out that I had likely opened up my skin pores with the warm water. Doh!

I endured the searing pain as long as I could (okay, ten minutes), and raced to my laptop. Google never loaded so slowly. I frantically typed in the search terms and discovered a lovely little condition called Jalapeno Hands. For which, apparently, there is no cure. Most websites pointed out that you should wear rubber gloves when slicing chiles or jalapenos. Gee, thanks. NOT helpful, people! I desperately searched for something–anything–to help, and at last happened upon one fellow who suggested Purell Hand Sanitizer. Cue the angels singing.

I raced upstairs, grabbed the Purell from my daughter’s room (Okay when you have babies/toddlers, you have gallons of the stuff), and ran into the bathroom. The pump wouldn’t work. I’m jamming the top furiously, “Come on. Come on! I need this stuff NOW!” Finally, I opened up the bottle and poured it over my blazing hands. Ahhhh….relief. Then moments later when the alcohol evaporated, the stinging returned. Noooooo! I poured more Purell on. Ahhh….Let’s just say I used about 1/4 of the bottle. It didn’t take away my Jalapeno Hands completely, but it sure did help.

This morning, there’s still a mild tingling, but it’s nothing like last night. And I will never again forget to wear gloves when handling chiles or jalapenos. I have been suitably punished by the gods of Jalapenos for my actions.

How about you? Ever suffered from Jalapeno burn? What did you try?