Seeking an Agent
I’ll admit, I’m having way too much fun. As many of you know, I am on the Quest for the Perfect Agent ™. 
About a year ago, when I first embarked on this scavenger hunt for the Holy Grail, I was discouraged by the 5-6 rejections I received. Two agents requested the full manuscript, and both encouraged me to send them other books when the first one didn’t quite fly. I did, and one of the agents sent it right back with a form rejection. Ouch. The other one–let’s just say I never sent the book because our phone conversation was a little too pushy for my tastes. We wouldn’t have suited so I decided not to waste her time.
Courtesy of Secret Agent Miss Snark (whose blog is quite a hoot if you’ve never read her–I suspect most of you have), she advises all authors to query no less than 100 agents before giving up. Why? Because the reasons for rejection, in many cases, have absolutely nothing to do with the writing. I’m already starting to see how this is true.
While I’m nowhere near 100 queries, I’ve mailed out approximately 15 packages and about 5 electronic proposals or queries. Some have written back nice notes explaining that while they liked the writing, historical romance wasn’t their thing. I’m so grateful for notes like that because it saves me querying them again. I need someone who adores historical romance, someone who slurps it up like expensive champagne. If the agent views historical romance with a “Meh” attitude, we won’t suit, because I’m an ambitious kind of girl.
On the bright side, I’m changing the terminology. I don’t call them agent rejections. I call them “Declines.” Because that’s what they’re doing–declining to represent me for various reasons. In any case, I’m hoping to find the right person–someone who “gets” me and my warped sense of humor. I decided to be a little bolder in my personal information. Those of you who read my blog know that I am a Fish Butcher (too many aquarium casualties), a teacher of hormonally-crazed twelve-year-olds, and I am constantly prying a toddler off my leg who is demanding my undivided attention. When, “Mommy! Mommy!” doesn’t work, they have been known to throw themselves down the office stairs to get my attention (Okay, so it’s only 4 stairs, but they have a keen sense of drama).
So I’ve decided to add this into my queries. Hey, if you’re an agent and you read in the neighborhood of 300 queries a week, wouldn’t you be more interested in a Fish Butcher than a mild-mannered American History teacher? So anyway, I decided to entertain myself when writing my bio. I may still get rejected, but you never know. 
It’s kind of fun, I’ll admit. I loooove submitting because I love getting mail.
In other news, it’s Lent. I need 6 vegetarian or seafood recipes to make it through the Fridays. So far I’ve come up with the following: cheese pizza, lobster, baked potato soup, pasta. I desperately need some alternatives. We really aren’t big seafood consumers in my household, but if there’s a kind of fish that doesn’t taste or smell fishy, I might give it a shot. Any suggestions? What are your favorite Lent or vegetarian dishes? (Larissa, come help me here!)
Michelle posted in Writing @ 9:11 am | Viewed 816 times
Stacy Says:
I never thought to go for the gusto and just tell them the honest truth instead of trying to make yourself sound overly professional….I like it and I bet you get a lot more interest coming your way. Hmmm, now what do I say about me?
beth Says:
I’ll keep my fingers crossed that you find the right agent! I think it’s a great idea to share your humor - you need someone who is going to appreciate you and that’s the quickest way to find them (I would think - this is, of course, from my totally uneducated-in-this-area-opinion).
As for recipes — have you searched foodtv.com? Pretty much anything by Alton Brown or Tyler Florence (Food 911 and others), and most by Emeril (though they’re a bit more ambitious) and Sara Moulton are moderately easy and I haven’t hit anything yet that wasn’t good for non-gourmand palates.
Good luck!
Rene Says:
When I read in Miss Snark about not stopping until you reach 100, I felt my stomach drop. I thought I’d done enough at 40. I don’t think I have the stamina for 100.
As to vegetarian recipes, its a tough season to go veggie. Maybe lasagna for something hearty? You could make it over the weekend, freeze it and cook it on Friday. Then you would have leftovers. How about stir fry with tofu? The firm tofu is good stir fried. You can find some good stir fry mixes in the frozen veggie aisle.
Tori Lennox Says:
I love your agent-hunting attitude!
As for recipes, I’ve got something called spinach souffle, though it’s really more of a casserole than a souffle. If you’re interested.
Crystal* Says:
100 queries?
Saints preserve us. I think I’m with Rene on count. Around forty. It’s so damn expensive to print all of it out and then mail the suckers. Maybe I’ll get back into this more in a couple of months when I’m not pulling out my hair.
Grins*
Olga Says:
Glad you’re having fun with the agent search! And Fish Butcher indeed sounds, um, intriguing! Best of luck to find a great agent, Michelle!
Amy K. Says:
I love your idea for your queries. Let us know how it goes!
As for meals, I’m such a meat and potatoes girl, although I’m starting to eat more seafood. Do you like shrimp? Maybe some shrimp creole? Cod is pretty non-fishy…if you make some yummy breading I bet it would go over well. (Stick it in a deep fat fryer and it will taste like Long John Silvers.):flying:
Bonnie Ferguson Says:
Hehehe on the Fish Butcher change to your bio
It’s great that you’ve found a way to make the ‘finding an agent process’ fun
Mary Says:
Oh, agents. That’s always a sticky one.
trek Says:
We like to do breakfast for dinner sometimes: eggs and potatoes, or French toast, or pancakes, or Belgian waffles. Yum!:hungry: