My Life is Complete

When you get married, everyone says you can’t change the person. You have to love them as they are, through thick and thin.

This is true. But sometimes they surprise you with nice things. So this post is dedicated to my husband who ACTUALLY WENT TO THE GROCERY STORE TONIGHT WHEN I WAS OUT OF PINEAPPLE! :worthy:

I’m thinking that one of several things happened.
1. He really wanted pineapple with his ham. :hungry:
2. He needed some other things at the grocery store. Ha! ‘Scuse me. :rotfl: I think the last time he went to the grocery store to shop was 7 years ago. He is a Zen shopper. I am List Girl. I’m not sure he’s aware that ice cream costs more than $2.36 a half-gallon.
3. He was being a nice guy. :dance:
4. He wanted to buy a lottery ticket, strike it rich, and move to Bora Bora. :woot:
5. More likely, he just was ticked because we didn’t have pineapple, and BY GOD, there can’t be ham without pineapple. The apocalypse would happen, the refrigerator would split in half, and our daughter’s head would spin around.

Oh wait. That already happened on Sunday when she started pulling a Linda Blair under the pews. Righto.

Anyway, honey, this one’s for you. Thanks for going to the grocery store. You rock! :beer:

Rainy Days and Sundays

My Dot Moms column is up. I talked about birthday parties, and my son’s day is coming up on Friday. After much debate, since the Spiderman plates were important to him, I ponied up on those and the treat bags. He’s getting regular napkins, regular cups, and that’s plenty. As for the treat bags, I’m just doing a candy mix. Half the time the bubbles, plastic toys, etc. just end up being thrown away. I’m debating on whether to make some homemade cookies as well. We’re doing chocolate cupcakes, Cheetos, and maybe fruit of some kind? Hard to say. Drew loves grapes, so I may try that. And again, the optional cookies. :hungry:

The roof shingles are going up on the shed and thankfully my husband hasn’t fallen. I’m not a fan of heights and neither is he. At least he has the roofing jacks so he can kneel down on boards while he’s up there.

Last, I am banning my daughter from church until she’s two. She canNOT handle it. There was a blissful time when she used to fall asleep in my arms during the service. Not anymore. Today she was trying to crawl all over the pews, under the pews, and she threw a royal fit when I picked her up and subdued her. We ended up in the vestibule during the Offertory. She mistakenly believed that I was going to take her home, and quickly found out that temper tantrums would not get her what she wanted. Man, guess that baptism didn’t quite drive all the demons out. I have a feeling that the next 12 months will be murder for her because by golly, she’s going to learn that the world does not revolve around what she wants. She’s old enough for discipline. :whip: I predict there will be sackcloth, ashes, and much grinding of teeth on her part as she learns the ways of the world. :hissyfit:

Well, there are two days left in January. I’m doing pretty good on my monthly goals. I mailed one of the proposals and I’m wrapping up the second to mail out to agents. On the second one, I had the synopsis ready to go and my critique partner, God bless her, pointed out that sections didn’t make sense. Considering the last time I read it, I was enjoying a nice glass of Shiraz and it was 10:15 at night, it made perfect sense to me at the time. :drunk: Erk. Guess I was a little too relaxed there.

Anyway, hopefully I can get that book mailed out within the next two days. I’m determined to meet that goal. :shimmy:

Taking the Plunge

Well, I decided to bite the agent bullet. I know that in the long term, I will definitely need one since my goal is to be published in single title. I’ll try querying some agents and see what my success rate is. Kind of scary to think about putting my writing career in the hands of a stranger. I have a list of possible folks, my A list of agents (the ones who will probably laugh at the idea of an unpublished writer) and my more realistic list (the newer agents hungry to make sales).

It’s funny how personality makes such a difference in choosing an agent. I’ve met all kinds, and the ones who put me off are the arrogant ones who act like they’re God, behaving as though unpublished writers are dying for anyone breathing to be their agent. :kneel: One well-known agent was talking on her cell phone at a conference, badmouthing authors for acting so desperate. I couldn’t quite get over that one.

Then there are the desperate agents. One newer agent put a sign on his child’s baby stroller and rolled around a book signing, stating that he was an agent accepting appointments. Now that one frightened me a bit. :help:
When you feel the need to use your child as a sales tool, that one crosses the limit.

I’m hoping for a nice, normal person with a savvy business personality. Someone who will keep faith in me and help me turn my books into a strong career. I have spoken on the phone with two agents in the past, and while a part of me was inwardly screaming–woo hoo!–another part was realizing that these women were not a good fit.

Now why do I feel like I’m about to put out an ad for online dating? Scary, scary! :shark:

Construction–the True Marriage Test

As I mentioned a while back, we had our windows replaced. Today the workmen came to do some minor fix-ups, and one pane of glass had to be replaced because it had a scratch. Guess what? The replacement glass was also scratched.

Anyway, as they are prying the window interior molding off to unbury the security system lines, I started thinking about the shed project my husband and I are completing.

When an engineer marries a teacher, there are bound to be personality conflicts. My husband is very precise-minded, very detailed, and quite an excellent home-improvement guy I might add. I, on the other hand, am fairly laid-back about such matters. Plus, I have virtually no clue about tools. Oh, I can grab a hammer and a screwdriver. But you might as well ask me to go get a hecklemoggle wrench instead of a channel lock wrench. I need very specific directions when it comes to home improvement projects. :loser:

The other day, we were trying to mount the trim on the shed. I knew it had to be lined up with the outer edge, but it wouldn’t go flush because the roof line was in the way.

Husband: “Is it ready to nail?”
Me: “Um, it’s lined up, but it’s not flat. Is that going to be a problem?”
Him: “Well, make it lie flat.”
Me: “Uh, there’s a roof in the way.”
Him: “Then you’re not lining it up right. Move it around until it lies flat.”
(I play around with it, but there’s just no way to get it to go flat.)
Me: “Just go ahead and nail it. I’m sure it’ll work out once you get to my end.” (Inwardly thinking–use LOTS of nails, honey. Lots and LOTS, and then it MIGHT lie flat).

Well, the end result was nicely lined up trim with a huge bow in the middle. Not so good. An argument ensued, :blahblah: harsh words exchanged, cuss words uttered at the shed, :boxing: until at last we ended up planing the edge of the roof to make it lie flat.

Each time we make more progress, there is inevitably an argument of some sort. Each time we have a new part to do, I wince, thinking–what’s going to go wrong this time? Because it’s always something.

It reminds me, in many ways, of writing a book. Most of the time, something goes wrong with a scene and you have to keep molding and shaping it until it comes out right. The moments of “Wow! Did I write this?” are so rare, it’s like getting a home project right the first time.

Right now I need to go find my hecklemoggle wrench to fix the current plot problem. :mallet: Back to the drawing board.

What’s the most challenging home improvement project you’ve encountered?

Sick Children and Agents

Yesterday my daughter had the glassy-eyed stare. I went ahead and booked an appointment, just to play it safe. But this morning I had the old dilemma of–”Do I send my son to daycare or not?” He didn’t technically have a fever, but he looked pretty tired. I debated and ultimately decided to give him one more day. Besides, this is exam week and it’s much easier to take time off. More writing time for me! :woot:

I finished one book proposal (mailed it yesterday!) and I’m now focusing on fixing the synopsis of another book I have finished. I’d like to mail that out by the end of the month. The proposal is fairly solid, but the ending of the book needs revamping. I think if I added a few more chapters to clarify, it would work. It brings me to a few issues, though. I can’t send it to Mills & Boon until they’ve made a decision on His Chosen Bride. That means the only avenues for it are single title houses.

One thing I learned from last year’s conference is that the single title houses really won’t buy from new authors unless it’s a book concept that will sell itself. One good example–Carpe Demon (a soccer mom is secretly a demon slayer). Now see, from the concept alone, I’m intrigued. I’d buy the book simply because it sounds fun, not because of the author. If you’re a new author, particularly one who writes historicals, you have to have a concept that is groundbreaking, new, and vivid. Plus, the fabulous writing on top of that. Herein lies the problem. You can only take it so far with historicals. There aren’t really new plots, so you have to find new and intriguing characters.

The other problem I face is that most single title houses won’t look at unagented writers. I’ve been really wavering on this one because I have a better chance of getting a fabulous agent if I have a book contract in hand. I then have the leverage to e-mail my top pick agents and get a serious look. I don’t know whether to pursue it now, considering the historical market is so tight. Mills & Boon doesn’t require an agent, and that’s why I haven’t been actively going for it. Sure there are young, wet-behind-the-ears agents out there, but they make me nervous. This is my career. I want someone who loves number-crunching and the financial bottom line because truthfully, I don’t want to think about subrights and contract clauses.

Anyone have thoughts on the whole agent dilemma? :coffee:

Home Again, Home Again

Last night I was revising my proposal and realized that I liked it better the old way. My process involves so much layering–rough plot, rough characters, rough setting, and then I smooth it out continuously. I rely a lot on gut instinct. If a passage doesn’t “feel right,” I keep working it until it does. I learned fairly early that any time I ignored my instincts and submitted a book while feeling that something was “not quite right,” I earned a rejection. If I was lucky enough to get a personalized rejection, the editor usually hit on what the problem was.

Today my son is home sick, so I’m going to hook him up with a nice blanket and a Star Wars movie for consolation. I’ll be puttering away on my book. Yesterday, once again the pediatrician’s office couldn’t get him in, and offered Wednesday as the soonest appointment. Uh, no. We went the Urgent Care route and after I saw the nurse, I told her she needed to do a strep test on him. Score one for Mom. That puppy came back positive. It’s funny how you just know your kids. When my son won’t eat his peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I know he’s sick. The child would sell his sister for peanut butter. :hungry: Well, he might sell her anyway because she gets on his nerves, but that’s neither here nor there.

They do need to come up with another strep test that doesn’t involve sticking a monster-sized Q-tip down your throat. Poor kid panicked as soon as he saw it. “Not the stick!” he yelled. I tried to talk him into some chewing gum as bribery, but he wouldn’t do it. Personally, I think a scanner would be nice. Something like they use at a check-out counter. Beep the back of your throat and there you are–instant test results.

Now how much do you want to bet that his sister will get sick on Friday at 3:00 p.m.? Any takers? She already has the cough…

Destroying the House

Yesterday my husband and I decided enough was enough. We had to clean out the kids’ rooms. Through no fault of their own (or ours, I might add), they have too many toys. Relatives, hand-me-downs, old presents–you name it, it was impossible for them to keep their rooms clean due to having too much stuff.

One of the things I hate most is cleaning out the clothes. It’s not just a matter of taking out all the 3T clothes or the 12-month clothes. No, the manufacturers insist on marking the sizes wrong. My daughter wears anything from 12 months to 2T. My son wears 4T to size 6. It’s crazy. So last night we destroyed our hallway by putting everything in it and systematically went through all the clothes in my son’s room. It’s nice to have that kind of fashion power.

Me (holding up a shirt): He looks like a pimp wearing this.
Husband: I actually think he could get away with it.
Me: Over my dead body. :batman:

We left about 3 toys in his room, aside from books and coloring supplies–his cars, his Legos, and a ukelele. All little boys have ukeleles, don’t they? :dance:

Today we have to do the same for my daughter. Her room is actually worse because I was storing all the infant supplies in there (receiving blankets, bottles, infant towels, etc. etc.). I foresee a trip to the hardware store in the very near future to get more storage bins.

Right now we have around 32 full-sized bins in storage (0-3 months, 3-6 months, 6-9 months, you get the idea…AND we have separate bins for boy clothes and girl clothes…AND separate bins for winter and summer). Worse, we can’t throw it out yet because there’s a question yet of whether we will try for Baby #3 next fall. Kind of scary, isn’t it?

On the writing front, remind me to NEVER attempt to recycle old writing. Bad idea. I’ve had to toss out all the old stuff and my “revised proposal” is really a brand new one. Sigh. On the bright side, I can now send it out to lots of places because technically they’ve never read it. I need a new title. Somehow I don’t think My Wild Irish Rogue Redux will fly. :flying:

Anyway, if you don’t hear from me for a day or so, you’ll know that I’ve been eaten alive by onesies and infant toys. :shark:

Hostage Crisis and Henry Ford

Amazingly, the little minions survived Wednesday tutoring. One of them came close to the can of whoop-hiney (okay, it’s my blog, and I don’t want to swear…all these innocent minds, you know). He hummed, he whistled, he tapped his foot, and I gave him the one-more-sound-and-you-are-toast-mister look. :shark: In the end, it wasn’t half bad, though. They actually participated in a round of Jeopardy and we ended on a pleasant note.

Today was quite the interesting lesson. I do an interactive Henry Ford assembly line when I teach the 1920’s. According to the historical requirements of Mr. Ford’s workers, the students may not lean on the machinery (desks), speak, talk, sing, whistle, or smile. The smile is the killer. If they broke a rule, then they would not be paid for their work on the assembly line. Their task? Drawing cars.

My third period class decided to take matters a step further. Not trusting herself to keep her mouth shut or not to smile, one brave little girl brought a roll of painter’s masking tape with her. She cheerfully taped her mouth shut. Not to be outdone, the remaining students decided that not only was the blue tape quite the fashion statement, but it would solve their dilemma of not smiling during the simulation.

It looked like a room filled with hostages. I’m not kidding. I half expected someone to bust out with a jihad explosive vest. There we were, for thirty minutes…coloring cars, with all of my students’ mouths taped shut.

Man, why can’t teaching be like this every day?:thumbsup:

Update: Here they are, by popular request. I blurred their faces to protect privacy. But you get the idea.
and here:

Rainy Days and Wednesdays

Today is another day of Tutoring the Minions after school. :kneel: I hateitIhateitIhateitIhateit… They have exam week next week and so that’s what I’ll be reviewing. Still, an hour and twenty minutes is TOO LONG. We’re all ready to shoot ourselves after that point. Plus, I have the behavior problem children to deal with (I did tell you about the boy who threw staples at the other kids and when caught yelled, “You’re all a bunch of dumb-*ss liars!”, didn’t I?). Yes, that will be my afternoon. I am looking forward to this about as much as a root canal.

It was fun listening to everyone’s favorite tv shows. I’m having to discipline myself with my writing on the days of good tv. I use my kitchen timer and try to make sure I get at least an hour of writing done. I tried for more, but my children keep crawling into my lap. It’s just not that easy with toddlers.

Speaking of which, my daughter is continuing her skills in stripping. Yesterday in Circle Time, she stood up and dropped her pants in front of the class. She had to go to the bathroom and thought she’d notify the teachers. Lovely. So subtle.

I made a major change to one of my proposals yesterday and it was the necessary element to draw it all together. I love it when that happens. It’s nice to be excited about a story again, and this really did the trick.

Last, a friend of mine recommended a website called Wordsmith. It e-mails you a daily vocabulary word, which is great for my New Year’s Resolution.

Okay, I have to head off to work, but please pray that I don’t go off the deep end this afternoon. Hopefully only the nice, sweet students will show up. :dance:

Guilty TV Pleasures

I’ll admit that lately I watch more tv than I should. I enjoy LOST as my primary show at the moment. But now my new round of shows has started. It will take some serious motivation (book contract, book contract, come on book contract) to keep me on my current writing schedule. I have a feeling I’m going to be in trouble because the guilty pleasure shows are coming on soon.

24: It started last night. Anyone here watch it? My husband and I counted 5 people that were killed within the first hour. :rambo: This is a show where you can pretty much guarantee that a lot of casualties will happen. It’s also very unpredictable. Case in point–with last night’s season premiere, they killed off half of last year’s cast. Unbelievable! You just don’t know where they’ll go next.

American Idol: My husband thinks I’m an idiot for watching the show. I actually don’t enjoy the first few weeks when they put ridiculous morons who will do anything to get on tv. But once they start narrowing it down and it gets more challenging, it’s fun. Why? Because you’re watching people fulfill their dreams. Now, I don’t have dreams of being a world-famous singer. I do sing, but hey, I’m happy to do a wedding now and then and cantor for my choir. That’s about it. But these people live for singing. It’s their world. Kind of like me craving a book contract (do they have a salivating happy face icon, do you think?). To watch them go for it and most achieve some level of success is fun. I enjoy it. :hello2:

Survivor: Again, certain members of my family do not enjoy the show because it often perpetrates lying. True. But not every cast member was a liar, and I really enjoyed Gary H. the quarterback from last season. He never lied. He was honest, a good person, and it was nice seeing how far he’d make it. I love rooting for the underdog. I quit watching one season because there was way too much lying and backstabbing. :boxing: This season was pretty good, though.

Skating with Celebrities: Okay, I simply have to see this one. Debbie Gibson? Todd Bridges? On skates? I’m dying to watch. I love watching figureskating. I used to figureskate myself but I quit when motherhood took over. I’ll go back to it one day, I’m pretty sure. Anyway, I have a strong appreciation for what it takes to succeed, so I’m curious as to how the celebs will manage.

So what about you? Do you watch any guilty pleasure tv shows?