No, I did not murder the children…

There are some twelve-year-old boys who are lucky to be alive today. Thankfully there are no newspaper banner headlines proclaiming MIDDLE SCHOOL TEACHER LOSES IT AND STABS CHILD TO DEATH WITH A BALLPOINT PEN.

At our school, we have a remediation after-school tutoring program that runs once a week. It started out as a group of 5-6 students, then grew to 10 and yesterday I had about 17 students. The problem is, they started bringing their friends, some of whom didn’t need to be there. It started to change the environment such that, the students who already knew the answers were dominating the program and the socializing started to increase.

Yesterday, the arrogance level made me want to turn from a mild-mannered, docile teacher (okay, stop choking and laughing here) into Attila the Hun. Some of the yahoos would NOT shut their mouths and listen to instruction. Instead of answering questions on their dry erase boards, they started writing goofy messages and trying to impress their friends (these were students from the other teachers, for the record–my own students know me too well to attempt that sort of behavior).

But that wasn’t what really irritated me. It was the fact that they believed they should get candy just for showing up. In the past, I’ve rewarded my hard workers with a lollipop or a small token, and these kids were whining from the outset.

When repeated warnings did not work, I explained that I was there to help the students who needed help and who wanted to review for the quarter exam. The students who preferred to socialize would be asked to leave. Two of my little minions from Satan didn’t believe me. They continued to talk louder than me and finally, I kicked them out. They spent the remainder of the time in the assistant principal’s office.

I’ll admit, when I got home later that night, I took it pretty hard. I’m not a new teacher, and this is the first time in a long while (okay, eight years) that I’ve had to resort to such measures. Though it did improve the atmosphere of the class, it still makes you feel like a failure as a teacher when some of the kids just don’t see how their behavior is a problem. They don’t see how talking during instruction is a sign of disrespect. And they were truly dumbfounded as to why they were kicked out.

Teaching is not a vocation for people who want to earn a lot of money. We do it for the children, for the joy of watching them learn and grow. I can always count on my students to brighten my day. But by the same token, the same children can make it difficult. I didn’t sleep well last night, wondering if there was anything I could have done differently. In retrospect, probably not.

More than anything, I worry about the kids who believe they are entitled to things simply because they are there. Life is going to kick them in the face one day with a dose of reality. What will they do then?