I shall never be a Fly Lady
About a year ago, I took one good look at my house and thought I’d scream. I am a terrible housekeeper. Don’t get me wrong–I love BEING in a clean house. It’s the scrubbing toilets and bathtubs and cleaning the nasty stove burner parts that get me crazy. I hate the process. I dream of a day when my books will help me live the dream. No, not bestsellerdom (although I dream about that, too). No, it’s the day when I can afford to have someone else clean my house.
I tried to do Fly Lady. She advocates taking baby steps and gradually reclaiming control of your housecleaning. Some people swear by her. Those of you who can handle it, I salute you.
To give you an idea, Fly Lady works like this. Each day you do one or two small tasks and make them a habit. Example:
Day 1: Shine your sink.
Day 2: Get fully dressed down to your shoes, and shine your sink.
Day 3: Start a Control Journal.
Day 6: Clean a Hot Spot (a really messy area) in 2 minutes, then stop.
Boy, this sounded great to me. 2 minutes? Hey, I can do that. But this is what my Fly Lady routine became:
Day 1: Stare at caked on sink goo. Realize that I really should clean it, but I left my Haz Mat suit at work. Will a blow torch get those decaying Cheerios off?
Day 2: Stare at my wardrobe before getting dressed. Realize that all my cute little outfits were all pre-childbearing suits. Curl up in a fetal position and contemplate the euphoric moments when I used to fit into that size without holding my breath, not fearing that I would blind my children should a button spontaneously blast off my jeans and shoot their eyes out.
Go downstairs and ponder whether I have any hydrochloric acid to throw in the sink and eat away at the gray film that’s been there since Thanksgiving.
Day 3: Try to find a spiral notebook to become my Control Journal. Cannot find the file cabinets containing spare notebooks because they’re buried beneath mounds of receipts, old manuscript drafts, coupons I don’t want to clip, and bill stubs. Go back and study the sink. Wonder if homemade explosives might work to chip off the cement of Spaghettios from last Thursday.
Day 6: A Hot Spot? You’re kidding, me, right? The entire HOUSE is a hot spot. Wade my way through the kitchen, trying not to step on the landmines of alphabet refrigerator magnets, wonder exactly what my son was thinking when he brought down his entire collection of baseball bats and wiffle balls, then come face to face with a pile of bills, daycare forms, coupons that already expired because I delayed clipping them, and lottery tickets that didn’t have a single number right. Get a large cardboard box. Dump all paperwork in the box. Contemplate whether a ceremonial burning in the backyard would work.
Stare at the kitchen sink. Decide that it’s just going to get dirty again….but I clean it anyway. And for an hour it stays clean. Thankfully no animals have nested in the garbage disposal.
Michelle posted in Writing @ 9:46 pm | Viewed 886 times
Steph T. Says:
LMAO!! Hey - if you’re cleaning, you’re not writing. Simple as that.
I get slightly OCD with cleaning and picking-up the house. My grandmother was a complete neat freak, and my mom did a total 360 (and living with her amidst the clutter is making me twitch hard these days) So I’m a total non-clutter kind of person. Except for the kid’s toys.
My husband always says he knows when I’m getting a ton of writing done because the house is messy.
But I can SO relate to the pre-child clothing. I finally got rid of all of mine - because it’s a pipe dream. And if I ever see that size again, I’m totally buying new clothes.:dancingfool:
MaryF Says:
I used to “fly.” I prolly should start again (except that control journal, and the 10 billion emails). I swept up enough hair yesterday to make three MORE pets. Ugh.
Margery Says:
LOL, Michelle. Even though there are only two of us living in the house these days, it’s still as bad as when it was filled with children. I have a theory - housework is only for when there’s nothing better to do. And (good or bad), there’s ALWAYS something better calling me.
Peggy Says:
Someone at eharlequin has a quote, “a clean house is a sign of a procrastinating writer”. Love it! Sticking with that.
My favourite part of the day is when db has been put down for bed and we put all the toys he has left throughout the house back in his toy box. It’s the only part of the day the house actually looks remotely clean.
Teresa Says:
LOL!! I’m like that. I look around and think I really should clean. But then I look again and think it’s really not that dirty.:whistle:
Kelly Says:
I’m with you - I love a clean house, I’m even a bit of a clean freak according to some of my friends. But I HATE doing housework. I really have to force myself to do it. Except my bed. I rarely ever make my bed. That’s my one concession. Which is a shame because I have a really nice quilt my Mom made and you never get to see it buried under the blankets.
Melissa Says:
I looked at the Fly Lady once and decided there was no way I could follow it. I liked the idea, but I instinctively knew it just wouldn’t work. My husband has thankfully started helping out more around the house (after a period of excessive laziness!) and it stays relatively clean. Not spotless,of course. I’d *love* to have a spotless house. But I think of mine as well lived in.
Sharon Says:
Fly Lady is satan! And she’s wrong about putting on shoes anyway. That’s one of her mantras. Wear shoes. But I have to tell you, feeling the grit, grime and nasty crap on my kitchen floor beneath my BARE feet is much more of an incentive to clean it than if I wore shoes.
Rene Says:
Too funny.
My problem is I can’t write if my house is a total disaster. I got to a point where I couldn’t write because my house was so bad. Flylady actually changed everything for me. I lived and died by my control journal for about 6 mos. What I learned from Fly was not to expect perfection. Instead of feeling like I have to have my whole house clean, I set myself a goal for the day and as long as it is complete by 5 p.m. I feel okay and can write. Flylady actually made me feel less overwhelmed.
Rene Says:
Oh yeah, my kitchen sink is a putrid mustard color and I refuse to clean it on principle because it is too ugly to be cleaned. I did shine it once and it still looked horrible, so I don’t bother.
Leslie Says:
I think you are me in disguise! My house got to the point I couldn’t walk without injuring a foot. I can’t do flylady either but I am hoping to hire a housecleaner one of these days!
Tori Says:
I tried Flylady once. For about a day. Drove me insane!!! Especially that whole “get dressed, wear shoes” thing. What is up with that???? :headspin:
Robyn Says:
When I did Flylady, I had no time to clean because I was reading the 3,647,867,456 emails she sent every half hour.
kacey Says:
FlyLady. HAHAHAHA. First of all there are a bazillion emails. Who has time for that? Second of all…NEVER EVER wear shoes unless you ABSOLUTELY have to.
The only way for me to get a clean kitchen sink at this stage…is to buy a new one :batman:
Danica Says:
Me and Flylady have a love/hate relationshiop. I only do bits and pieces, and I’m happy with that. Besides, if I don’t mop the floor, the kids and dog will have snacks for later.
Melissa Mc Says:
I tried to be a Flybaby. I really gave it my best shot. Maybe someday I’ll try again. The two best things I got from it: do a load of wash in the morning and use my crockpot.:fryingpan:
Michelle Says:
Oh, those e-mails! Weren’t they awful? I prefer to decide when I want to clean…which is why it doesn’t get done nearly as much as it should.
Missie Says:
Michelle,
Too funny! I am the total opposite, the FlyLady could almost take lessons from me, but I sooo enjoyed your post. My housecleaning has gone waaay down hill since the birth of my second child 2 months ago.
Feeling your pain with the pre-child clothing section. We just won’t talk about that part of my closet. It’s too painful. I do like to take the clothes out and pet them every once in awhile, just so they don’t get too lonely.
Thanks for stopping by our blog at snarklingclean. Hope to see you again there soon.
Missie:cheer: