Back to your regularly scheduled blog

My three-year-old is obsessed with moods. He will ask, “Are you happy? Is that a happy face?” I’ll tell him, no, but I’m fine.

Him: “Are you a sad face?”
Me: “No, I’m fine. Just neutral.”
Him: “But are you happy? Show me a happy face!”

Rinse, repeat.

Toddlers are so obsessive-compulsive, it’s a wonder they don’t open a clinic for them. They will eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for WEEKS and then suddenly they won’t eat the crusts. You never know what sort of random crusade they’ll go on next. They love spaghetti. No, now they hate it. They adore green beans. Now they loathe them.

But there is one truth that will never die. Toddlers will happily throw themselves off a cliff for a single piece of chocolate. I have never met a toddler who would not brave the fires of hell (or a bath :bath:) for the promise of dessert.

My daughter caught me opening the wrapper to a Hershey’s nugget and suddenly began running across the room toward me. Keep in mind, the child only learned to walk about four weeks ago. But when she saw the promise of the Holy Grail of Hershey’s, the theme song to Chariots of Fire burst forth, and she chugged her way across the room.

Only to trip and fall sprawling on her face.

At that point, she unleashed her fury, screaming at the top of her lungs, “Maaaaa!” which, loosely translated means, “Give me the d*mn chocolate or I’ll wake you up at 4:00 a.m. for the next two weeks!”

Ah, motherhood.