Tales from the Rejection Desk. . .
First of all, no, I did not get a rejection in the mail today. I got this from Margery and it just made me smile. Supposedly these are true stories about authors who were rejected.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Kipling, but you just don’t know how to use the English
language.” Editor of the San Fransciso Examiner to Rudyard Kipling.
Jean Auel, author of “The Clan of Cave Bear” was told, “We are very
impressed with the depth and scope of your research and the quality of
your prose. Nevertheless … we don’t think we could distribute enough
copies to satisfy you or ourselves.”
A letter rejecting “The Diary of Anne Frank” said, “The girl doesn’t, it
seems to me, have a special perception or feeling which would lift that
book above the ‘curiosity’ level.”
Even Dr. Seuss was not above the scathing rejection, “…too different
from other juveniles on the market to warrant its selling.”
We’ve all heard these stories before. They make us smile, they lift us above our own frustration from rejections. But what are the strangest things that have ever happened to you in a rejection? What things happened that made you say….”Ooookay…where did that one come from?” Or what was the most scathing rejection you’ve ever received, if you don’t mind sharing?
For me, I received a rejection from an agent…and my envelope contained a rejection letter for SOMEONE ELSE’S STORY. :confused2: Instead of Dear Michelle, it read something like:
Dear Bob:
We’re sorry, but Vampire Zombies from San Francisco is not a book that we would like to represent at this time. This, of course, is merely one opinion and we wish you the best of luck in your publishing career.
I frowned, scratched my head, and thought, “Dang! He wasted my stamp on this?” And who the heck is Bob??
I promptly wrote him a nice note back, enclosing the rejection and told him that I was withdrawing my work but I wished him the best of luck.
I was tempted to write:
Dear Agent:
I’m sorry, but your lack of organization tells me that I do NOT want you handling my future royalty checks.
P.S.–the IRS is watching you. Muhahahaha….:crazyjumping:
Michelle posted in Writing @ 5:07 pm | Viewed 1288 times
Crystal* Says:
I received a rejection with a business card stapled to the flap on the envelope. The rejection was printed on the card. I’m still displeased with the wasting of postage on that one.
And one of the worst? A rejection that was off-center, ink fading, and tore-up. I had the same reaction as you, Michelle.
Didn’t hurt I received it over a year after I sent it, and I already sold the ms.
Grins*
Rene Says:
I have also received the “why bother changing the toner cartridge” rejection as well. The paper was the cheapest junk I wouldn’t use for toilet paper. Someday, if I ever get published, I dearly want to meet that agent in person and mention there total lack of professionalism. I’ve got the pre-printed sticky note rejection stuck on my letter and mailed back. The worst was when an agent took ten months to respond to a query letter. I swear, my SASE looked like her dog had been playing with it.
Amy K. Says:
LOL Michelle, I think you should’ve sent that!
I haven’t gotten any outrageous Rs. But I’ve only been targeting Superromance, and they’ve all been helpful and kind. And for that I’m Superthankful.
Steph T. Says:
My favorite is when they don’t even waste their own paper - they just kind of scrawl a ‘no’ across my own query letter…I’m like - get some stationary of your own please.:evil:
Bonnie Ferguson Says:
:confused: OMG you guys!!! The ones I’ve had in the past (knocking on wood)
were fairly standard. LOL Michelle on the IRS comment 
katie Says:
Bad enough to get your own rejections - much less other peoples! Geeze.
Margery Scott Says:
Jeez, why didn’t I think to post this on my own blog?
Jill Says:
I’ve published forty something books now and I can admit this — I have enough agent and publisher rejections to wall paper an entire room. Don’t EVER give up.
Suzanne Says:
LOL, Michelle. And I wonder if Bob ever got his rejection?
Tori Says:
I guess you have to play to enter. Er, or something like that. Since I’ve only had the the one submission that was eons ago and was only sent on a lark in the first place… :confused2: This smilie has nothing to do with anything, though. It just makes me laugh.
Michelle Says:
Margery–please post the entire list on your blog. I just chose a few. I’m sure people would love to read the whole bit!
Suzanne–yes, I’m sure BOB got his rejection. LOL.
Jill–I think I might be able to wallpaper a room now. It’s getting there!
Melissa Says:
Wow! Can’t believe he sent you back the rejection for another person’s work. That IS disorganized.
The whole Anne Frank rejection is just too sad for words…
gena showalter Says:
Like someone else, I got my letter back with a “No” stamped on it. Stamped. Not even hand written. I got one that said “Your characters are bullies.” Man, I need to go back through my letters because I know I’ve got some good stuff there LOL
Larissa Says:
LOL–these stories crack me up. I mean, it’s not funny for the person getting the rejection (hugs!) but it does remind me why I have to be forced almost at gunpoint to submit queries! :loser: