Tales from the Rejection Desk. . .

First of all, no, I did not get a rejection in the mail today. I got this from Margery and it just made me smile. Supposedly these are true stories about authors who were rejected.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Kipling, but you just don’t know how to use the English
language.” Editor of the San Fransciso Examiner to Rudyard Kipling.

Jean Auel, author of “The Clan of Cave Bear” was told, “We are very
impressed with the depth and scope of your research and the quality of
your prose. Nevertheless … we don’t think we could distribute enough
copies to satisfy you or ourselves.”

A letter rejecting “The Diary of Anne Frank” said, “The girl doesn’t, it
seems to me, have a special perception or feeling which would lift that
book above the ‘curiosity’ level.”

Even Dr. Seuss was not above the scathing rejection, “…too different
from other juveniles on the market to warrant its selling.”

We’ve all heard these stories before. They make us smile, they lift us above our own frustration from rejections. But what are the strangest things that have ever happened to you in a rejection? What things happened that made you say….”Ooookay…where did that one come from?” Or what was the most scathing rejection you’ve ever received, if you don’t mind sharing?

For me, I received a rejection from an agent…and my envelope contained a rejection letter for SOMEONE ELSE’S STORY. :confused2: Instead of Dear Michelle, it read something like:

Dear Bob:

We’re sorry, but Vampire Zombies from San Francisco is not a book that we would like to represent at this time. This, of course, is merely one opinion and we wish you the best of luck in your publishing career.

I frowned, scratched my head, and thought, “Dang! He wasted my stamp on this?” And who the heck is Bob??

I promptly wrote him a nice note back, enclosing the rejection and told him that I was withdrawing my work but I wished him the best of luck.

I was tempted to write:

Dear Agent:

I’m sorry, but your lack of organization tells me that I do NOT want you handling my future royalty checks.

P.S.–the IRS is watching you. Muhahahaha….:crazyjumping: