Drugging my children and proud of it…

Anyone here ever had to drug a baby? Show of hands, please?

My daughter got her first ear infection at three months. Armed with a prescription for Amoxicillin, I prepared to dose her twice a day for ten days. I held her gently in my arms, and inserted the medicine syringe.

Daughter: What is this crap? Are you kidding me? Do you really think I’m going to swallow that garbage?
Me: Hold still. Drink it.
Daughter: Oh, hell no. ::squirm, fuss::
Me: (prying her mouth open and putting her in a headlock). Drink it, damn it! You have to!
Daughter: Nanananana…no I don’t! And you can’t make me!
Me: Wanna bet? (squirts the syringe into her cheeks, holding her upside down)
Daughter: (gives me an evil eye and spits the medicine in my face).

Repeat for 10 days. Need I say more? The child didn’t get the required dose, we ended up back in the pediatrician’s office, and she got a Rocephin shot.

3 months later:
Doctor: She’s got an ear infection. I’ll give you a prescription.
Me: Give her a shot.
Doctor: Well, for insurance purposes, we have to try the antibiotics first.
Me: She won’t take it.
Doctor: You just have to hold her down and force the medicine.
Me: (hysterical laughter)

My son is polar opposite. He thinks drugs are candy. If he could have medicine every day, he’d be thrilled. As for my daughter? She thinks it’s rat poison…